apolloskodama asked: Why didn't you kill the Snorks for stealing your look?

I DON’T KNOW WHO THESE SNORK GUYS ARE BUT THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY THAT THEY LOOK HALF AS IMPRESSIVE AS I DO. I MEAN. I FUCKING OWN THIS LOOK.

daedmanisland-deactivated201206 asked: What's your favorite part of a newspaper?

THE FUCKING PART THAT HAS NEWS, YOU DOLT.

SERIOUSLY, IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND - THE NEWSPAPER HAS NEWS. I LIKE READING THIS NEWS. I ALSO LIKE HOLDING THE PAPER ITSELF. THE SOUND IT MAKES AS ITS SURFACE AND MY SUIT CREATE BEAUTIFUL FRICTION IS MUSIC THAT MAKES MY HEART BEAT EVER FASTER.

AND YOU’D BEST JUST IGNORE THAT LAST PARAGRAPH THERE IF YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU.

batman2robin-deactivated2012111 asked: HI aquman it's robin i have Question do you love aqulad as a son

WHAT. HOW CAN YOU CONFUSE ME WITH THAT JERKASS AQUAMAN? HIS SUIT IS NOT NEARLY AS IMPRESSIVE AS MINE.

BUT AQUALAD’S ALRIGHT I GUESS.

Anonymous asked: I Can Has Cheezburger?

NO.

YOU CANNOT HAVE A FUCKING “CHEEZBURGER”. DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING CHEF?

Anonymous asked: If you were to direct a movie, what would it be about? Who would be the protagonist, and antagonist? CHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIRPCHIR

IT WOULD BE ABOUT ME. IT WOULD STAR ME FACING THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD EVER BE A CHALLENGE TO ME.

MYSELF.

Anonymous asked: hOnK :o)

I DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

BUT I THINK IT MEANS “NET ME BLACK MANTA, PLEASE NE-“

IT ENDS LIKE THAT BECAUSE I NET YOU. WITH MY TECHNETS.

Anonymous asked: Are you a cat?

WHAT.

HOW.

WHY.

NO.

FUCKING CHRIST, MAN.

DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING FELINE?

Anonymous asked: BOW DOWN TO ME, AS I AM MUCH MORE SAUVE THAN THOU.

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE MEDIEVAL JERKFACE, THIS IS MY SUBMARINE.

Anonymous asked: I took a shit by the side of the neighbor's house. Will they know it was me?

I DON’T FUCKING KNOW.

IT DEPENDS ON YOUR NEIGHBORS, REALLY? DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE SOME SORT OF DEVICE TO SCAN YOUR FECES FOR DNA OR SOME SHIT? OR ARE YOU THE KIND OF IDIOT WHO LEAVES A PHOTO?

IN EITHER CASE, STOP SHITTING BESIDE HOUSES, USE A SUIT.

Anonymous asked: Did you take an arrow to the knee?

I’M NOT A MEDIEVAL INFANTRYMAN, SO NO.

Anonymous asked: If you were actually Black Manta, what would your evil plan bee?

WELL IF I WERE ACTUALLY BLACK MANTA I WOU-

WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? GET OUT OF HERE.